Steps To Telling Your Spouse You Want A Divorce


Initiating a conversation about divorce with your spouse is like walking on eggshells. This is a sensitive topic, and there is a high chance that it will be met with some hostility and sadness. But when a marriage gets to a point where it is only breeding anger, resentment, and pain, it is better for the parties to go their separate ways. So how do you break the news to your spouse about a divorce? Here are some tips that can help.

Be Prepared For Your Partner’s Reaction

You are among the few people who know your spouse well. That is why you are better positioned to know what kind of reaction you are likely to get and how to go about it. This will also help you come up with methods to soften the blow or calm the situation. Even though divorce has been on your mind for a while, for your partner, this is something new. The first reaction you will get is shock and anger. Of course, if the other spouse agrees with the decision, there will be fewer arguments. But hardly are most divorces peaceful. And even when they are, there are some hurt feelings and guilt involved. Being kind and respectful during this hard time will go a long way.

Plan What You Will Say

You cannot just drop the words, ‘I want a divorce’ and keep quiet. There is a high chance that the conversation will not go well. Instead, it is better to start talking about how unhappy you have been for the past years or months. You want to ensure that your spouse understands just how this situation is. Clearly state why you do not want to remain married to this person and why it is too late to try and fix things. Also, do not say any words that may be construed as giving false hopes.

Be Gentle But Firm

The way you ask for the divorce will lay the foundation for how the whole process goes. If you approach the conversation with anger, blame and frustration, do not expect a calm reaction from the other end. This only leads to other complications, including a spouse trying to fight you on issues like asset division and child support. While you want to be direct, also be kind.

Choose The Right Place

Timing and location play an important role in this discussion. Ideally, it should be a quiet place without any distractions. Also, never break such news in front of the kids. When it comes to telling the kids about the divorce, it should come from both parents, unless one is not being cooperative. If your partner has been abusive, then do not do this on your own. You can get a trusted friend to be around just in case of anything.

Work With An Attorney

It is always good to hire a divorce attorney. You will need that legal help to navigate the process of divorce. Even when the divorce is consensual, it is still a good idea to have a lawyer by your side. Most people assume that divorce lawyers are only for fighting couples, but that is not true. There are several aspects that go into a divorce, including asset distribution, child custody, child visitation, alimony, and child support. A lawyer will guide you on how to go about such issues.

Listen To Your Spouse

Listen to your spouse as well, as this is the opportunity for you to know which issues are likely to arise during the divorce. You can also gauge your spouse’s level of animosity and know how prepared you need to be. If the spouse starts threatening you with issues like child visitation, custody, and asset division, you can let your lawyer know what to expect from the other party.

As much as divorce is a difficult and a touchy topic, it is necessary if your marriage is no longer working. However, by breaking the news to your spouse in a kind and respectful manner, you can prevent some issues down the line.

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